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i have no idea what i'm doing anymore

 

We Used To Be Friends

tulips purple wall

If you're in the UK you'll know, but a week into new Government and the country are angry. Saturday saw protests and riots, after only 24 hours of a Conservative Government. On my social media channels I see so many organising demonstrations, people are coming together and supporting marginalised groups. Solidarity and supporting each other is a good thing; and I can only hope that all demonstrations remain peaceful. Saturday saw the press (when they eventually covered it) vilifying the protestors, when it was chosen few that acted out. The main demo is on the 20th of June. I'm seeing a lot of discussion from women that wish to take their families, a united front and a fear of being arrested for making their voices heard.

Recently Martin and I had a small discussion about starting our own business, under a Tory Government it makes slightly more financial sense than working for someone else. There are tax breaks and support, but neither of us know enough at this point to make a sensible decision.

The Black Bloc members will of course be out in force, and it's safest to stay away if you do not wish to be arrested, or associated with them. For anyone attending the demonstration I urge you:

Do not cover your face.

Do not dress in all black.

Stay out of trouble.

The last time I saw a protest of this size was the Student Loans and University Fee's protest. At the time I was working in a school, I did the wholly inappropriate thing of putting the live coverage on the TV and watching it with ten 14 year olds. We discussed it, and I tried to buoy their spirits that they would be able to go to university; and there were people out there protesting for these children to have the same chances as those older did.

This Government effects the arts, which concerns me, with less students taking the arts route, the culture in the UK becomes one of commodity instead of creativity. I saw this coming when I worked in the school. Students were encourage to take a Baccalaureate, of which didn't include art, music, drama, craft or graphics. That was five years ago and now it seems even more concerning, with creative subjects seen as lesser to the academic ones. If you speak to any photographer, artist or designer they'll sure as hell tell you that it isn't easy. It takes hard to work to harness your skills and demonstrate those in a way you wish.

erin at mikis st leonards

On a less political vein, my dreams have been strange and I'm regularly waking up drenched in sweat. The same faces are appearing and I don't know why. It's jarring and unsettles me to the point where the thoughts are bleeding into my waking life. I suppose in some way I should just accept them as is and move forward. Yet my brain doesn't seem to like that idea, and wants to re-hash things over and over again. I can only imagine that I'm not quite getting the point from myself.

I've re-started screen printing again, after a slow period where I had ideas but no sure way of executing them I've worked it out in my head and the results are showing that, they will at some point make their merry ways to etsy where you can buy my wears, and I'll also write you a lovely hand written note that you won't be able to read because I have an illegible scrawl.

rachel pickles at mikis

I've re-worked this space. Actually, I bought a new domain and moved everything over and then changed my mind and deleted a days worth of work; because why not? Apparently I quite enjoy wasting my time (and money), who knew? I still have the domain name and I could still do something with it at some point, but for now, maybe just having an idea is best. I wanted to make my little space in the internet more me, and a little tidier, time will tell if I have or not.

Unemployed me drinks far more than employed me; which isn't a complaint and I'm quite happy to have a few drinks with friends in the evening instead of flaking on the floor in misery because I'm strung out from work. As I'm not working I have more brain space for the people that mean the world to me; and more time to fill with conversation. I didn't realise how much work impacted on my mental health; this time of unemployment has given me insight; I now know that self-employment is the route I need to take, when it is financially viable. It's given me a sense of direction that at times I completely lack.

I've finally got to the point where as selfish as it may be, I'm doing things for me and I'm seeing the results. There is no real 'future' as these things are materialising in my life quite regularly and it's amazing to be supported by friends, family and complete strangers.

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