I love Hastings, and while I might not quite love myself in Hastings I think, in some ways thats a pay-off I have to make. I wasn't that enamoured with the Midlands when I lived there, but the house prices made it attractive.
I often think about leaving Hastings. I think of moving to Brighton or London, or Manchester, or Birmingham, or Liverpool. I tell myself it's because I (rightly or wrongly) believe that there may be more opportunity. That getting out of this sleepy seaside down will help me achieve my goals quicker. I think of emigrating to America with the boy from Sacramento, and I look up living in San Fransisco and then become confused on rent and bills and living in a whole new country. I have nightmares in which the boy gets shot because I am occasionally a gobby twat and decide maybe living in a country where people have access to guns is a silly idea.
Then I'm reminded that this is less about leaving Hastings and more about trying to leave myself. I realise that I am so so tired of hating and disliking myself, that I should have moved past this dislike of myself many years ago.
But thats all by-the-by, I want to believe that you can make opportunity for yourself anywhere, so thats what I'm trying to do; these photos came out so well and hint to me of things to come.
