Sunday Morning

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Hello, it's been awhile hasn't it? (cue singing Staind).

Here goes nothing, here goes everything. Now that I'm here I'm confused with what I'm doing, but I am trying.

It's been my 50 hour work week, this week and I spent Saturday asleep after going for breakfast. I always feel so useless when I do that, which is silly, I work nights, I have to sleep sometime. But this hustle culture makes me feel guilty if I'm not photographing or editing or pushing or doing. Saying that though, I am developing some ideas, one of which is a project 365. It's no secret that I am uncomfortable in my adult body, there's curves and hips and a feeling of large-ness that I'm sure is compounded by society. So what better way to get over that than a self portrait project for a year? It'll either work or it won't, you can follow along on instagram or you can wait for round-up posts here. 

What else did I do this week? Oh I tried to create some cyanotypes, that was fun, and now I've ordered some more solution and paper and I'm crossing my fingers for some more sunlight because that's one way to keep me busy.

I've loaded up my Ricoh 500ME with some Agfa 400 Black and White, I've wanted to photograph the street drinkers and homeless around Hastings and St Leonards for awhile now, so thats what I'm hopefully starting too. I'm a little concerned that the film isn't winding on correctly but the Ricoh hasn't let me down yet. 

I also set up a Patreon earlier today. If you're interested in supporting my work then this is one way of doing it, at the moment I'm doing the creation model, where if you buy a zine you get a free print, as I have about 30 zines to shift, I know I know I should sort etsy out again, but I am tired and I've always struggled to hustle and promote my bits and pieces. It always feels so dirty, it's a distinct lack of self belief and imposter syndrome. Which probably has no actual basis in reality but loom in my mind largely.

Saying that, identity issues come easy to me. As part of the BPD label. I have asked for therapy, both through Health In Mind and NHS services, but with East Sussex County Council cutting services everywhere I am not expecting any help unless I'm about to top myself. I did buy What A Time To Be Alone by The Slumflower, it'll either help or it won't, obviously I'm hoping for the helping bit. I must say though, a quick flick through and it's actually a stunning book, 10/10 would recommend for aesthetics alone. 

And I almost forgot to mention that I'm included in Coastal Currents this year! I've been selected to be part of the art fair at the Stade Hall, I have an A2 print going into the show that is for sale. It'll be on between the 2nd and 13th of September, so even if you don't like what I do, it'll be worth coming down to see the other 40+ artists.

Anyway, toodle-pip fellows, I need to shower and dye my hairs.


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