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i have no idea what i'm doing anymore

 

Shark Bites + Dog Fights

AlmaHaser_LillyandAnastasia(1)

The internet is huge, the world is small and we're networked in so many different ways. Recent inspiration includes Alma Haser, who I found on pinterest. On showing Martin the image of her works, he said to me "I recognise those, why do I recognise them?".

Alma Haser has a studio in Rock House, next to my good friends Xaverine and Janey, opposite the Art School and the place where my first curated exhibition opened on Tuesday. I'll fall over people in real life never recognising them because I'm too busy thinking about acrid skies and worlds uninhabited.

from the artists website

Does any other artists/designers/makers/photographers ever feel the urge to try every other creative avenue, to avoid being pigeon holed, to avoid becoming a one-trick-pony? I seem to spend much of my time trying to expand my practice when really I often feel I should spend time refining certain points.

As far as my personal artworks go I want to continue to create what suits me at that moment. I want works to represent my thought processes in a set period of time. Career wise, for once I seem to have some clarity which has taken awhile. I once spoke to my Grandparents on my Mother's side of the family, I said that eventually I'd have to make a choice between care work and art. I never had a choice because it had already been made for me.

I want to work for myself, I want to curate and install shows and discover other artists and discover new ways of working for myself. I want to create and explore. I just need to win the lottery to finance these ideas.

found here

I feel selfish and weird discussing my wants, no matter how big the audience. It can't be healthy to feel shame when saying "This is how I want my life to be", especially when I am so willing to work for it, blood, sweat, and tears.

I don't expect fame or riches, I just want to be able to live off of my wares, I want to be able to pay my bills without selling my soul, and surely that can't be a bad thing? If only I didn't feel guilty for wanting more than I have. I don't knoooooooowwwwwwwwwwwww. Wantwantwantwant.

Yet if we never want are we likely to stagnate? The thought of stagnating terrifies me far more than the idea of being selfish for wanting more within my career. My mental illness has a tendency to encourage me to take the most ridiculous risks, and somehow they tend to pay off; I try not to think about it too much because I don't want to destroy the magical joy when things work out in my favour.

If there has ever been someone looking out for me, thank you.

I have another exhibition opening tonight, this time my own wares. It's new pieces and they're for sale. I'm not sure when I became this busy? This is no complaint though. I'll be a Miki's at Marine Court from 8.00, come say Hi, and mine's a Bloody Mary.

More inspiration like this? Find me on pinterest