Thank you all for your lovely comments to this, I am a misery at times and sometimes the whole thing just needs to be let out, for my sanity as much as anyone else's. I didn't expect such comments and they made me feel so grateful that there are people offering lovely words to me when I'm just throwing it all out there brazenly, and moping like a sad sad little creature.
I can't quite describe how I feel and the rarity in my life is I've been listening to music again. Sometimes songs fit the moment so well, but I'm not musical, and I never have been (apart from a brief foray into the keyboard at the age of eleven- disastrous when you're tone deaf). The music I grew up around has stayed with me, Portishead, Nirvana, Pink Floyd, Radiohead, can you tell my parents listened to happy music? Sometimes a collection of songs sums it all up so well. I made a terrible playlist. You can always follow me on spotify (I've shared on facebook too, which you can like here).
The other day I read this article in i-d about artists, young artists and drawing. Obviously they mention Tracey Emin, who, you(maybe?) + I can empathise with, the rawness of her feelings laid out in a drawing, it's poetic and painful all together.
Its re-emergence has something to do with the openness, shareability and personability of Web 2.0. Emin might be one of the most famous artists working today who extensively uses drawing, but young artists are returning to it in their droves, often as a way of connecting digital art to a wider psychological examination.
The article sums up in one how drawing can be so integral, to not just the artist, but forging connections (how-ever much in vain that hope is).
And it’s in this meeting point, between the psychological and conceptual, that maybe gives the best indication of how drawing will survive and thrive in the future, its flexibility allows it to embrace its contradictions between privacy and openness, simplicity and conceptuality, cartoonish humour and psychological evaluation.
Drawing for me is a challenge and my sketchbooks a history of not just my artistic growth, but my life and feelings, my behaviours and things I do, a reaching out in bizarre fashions that doesn't quite make sense, a jarring- juxtaposition, that may or may not relate on a deeper level to my life and mental health. There is something so simple and delightful about drawing, and it is easier to see a trajectory of improvement.
I haven't drawn in days, nothing of note. Maybe I should try.