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i have no idea what i'm doing anymore

 

Metaphysical Solipsism

apples.jpeg

I was going to start by talking about trust, and how I don't trust easily. Then I realised that there are, generally speaking, two camps, those that do and those that don't. Which then led on to realisation that I spend a lot of time preaching to the converted. Those that read my blog entries are interested in similar things to myself, or they're interested in me.

If I'm completely honest, I like the idea of writing a column weekly on being an artist, living a creative and fulfilled life, about trying to make it to the higher echelons of the art world. I especially like pairing my words with photographs and information that is of little relevance but holds up a mirror to my mood and conversation that week. Could you tell?

The mind is the only thing that can be known to exist, that knowledge of anything outside the mind is unjustified. Metaphysical Solipsism is a skeptical hypothesis, and leads to the belief that the whole reality, the external world, and other people are merely representations of the individual self, having no independent existence of their own.

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My current artistic practice is difficult to talk about, there are two strains, one is my ever growing collection of monoprints and the other is The Gallery. It's pretty damn-near-impossible to make writing the same sentence four times and then scrapping it sound remotely inspirational or romantic. It's not, and trying to attain Arts Council England funding is an uphill battle of sounding the right type of confident. It's no help knowing that the Government are cutting arts funding over and over again. This right-wing leadership seem intent on making it harder for those of us in the arts to make a living, and more importantly, to contribute to the culture of the British Isles. (But I don't want to get too deep into that, because that's a whole other rant and includes the fact that I've been invited to be part of a steering group for an independent arts festival).

My tattooists wife, who grew up in Ohio told me how she had to take 'Speech' where she learnt to interview, to give presentations, to be confident in presenting herself and her abilities. As much as the whole idea of makes me cringe, no doubt it would be useful to have that type of education.

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The main assertion of Solipsism rests on the lack of a solid proof of the existence of the external world, and also asserts that no such proof can be made (as the mind constructs this proof). Just because we see an object does not mean that the object exists. We could be dreaming or hallucinating.

My conversations revolve around securing money and making plans of where and when. I travelled to Brighton to talk Fringe City. I send emails to other artists, and those in-the-know. My friends and I talk exhibition themes and selection criteria. We talk about art and how to make money from our art, we talk about getting stuck in grind-work just to pay the bills. In my down time I lay in bed watching Grey's Anatomy.

The Gallery has the potential to be exciting, if executed correctly, and that is where my efforts are concentrated. The feedback received so far is positive, pushing me onwards, encouraging me to build bigger and better.

THOUGHTSErin Veness