Are you going to tell me why there’s a bag packed by the bedroom window? It’s a pack of lies: “Everything has to reach a peak sometime.”
Give me a week off and I get a bit lost. Being busy is awful sometimes, but at least I don't procrastinate as much because I have to do the thing now because after I've done the thing I have another thing to do.
I listen to music and I float about the flat. I hoover daily because I'm scared to print anything incase it doesn't work out. I don't even cook because I'm scared of eating too much. I stare out the window and realise that nothing will change unless I make it.
I think I have no words of my own and then they come. I wonder if I have lost the ability to think, but then I think and wish I had never started. I look at my phone and wait for something but I don't know what I'm waiting for. I'm probably waiting for myself.
(T-shirt: Family Store, Shirt: H&M, Shorts: Ming Jeans, Boots: Dr Martens)