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i have no idea what i'm doing anymore

 

I Will Never Be As Cool As You (+Thats Ok)

BIGSILENCE While waiting for an appointment the other week I read an article in Company, which I would never normally read. Nothing against it, but it's just not what I'm all about, anyway, flicking through I found an article by a guy named Matt about how with social media we need to read between the lines.

Basically, after reading the article I just thought to myself "why do I always forget this, this is important".

The writer, Matt, who I cannot find much about was gently reminding us all that we present the image you see and read, on blogs, twitter, instagram, facebook, I know this seems so obvious but I'll admit, so often I've sat watching my newsfeed thinking "everyone is having the time of their lives and I'm chewing my toenails on a Friday night". I know I can't be the only one. So often I can look at social media and feel SO inadequate, all my friends looking amazing, with friends spilling from ever crevice, I honestly feel like a potato.

It's really interesting to read Companys twitter feed, with such tweets as "rings to make your hands instantly instagram-able". Then I feel like nothing of me will ever be instantly instagram-able.

Now don't get me wrong, I am liable to discuss something I've done on this blog, not necessarily things I've bought or worn, but things I've thought, and done. I'm aware I present myself terribly, but I'm cool with that. I realise that I'm now sounding like a dick. There's no easy way to talk about this though, without sounding like an arsehole (and I'm gonna watch my followers disappear, bye guys!).

It's so easy to present this polished awesome persona on the internet, you can share all the best bits and hide away the period pains, the day you felt lonely because you weren't invited out, the shit that you don't want to admit happens to you too. Social media can entrench the view that you are the only person at that moment feelings so left out.

Today for the moment I am alone. There will be no tweets or photos from me of drinking until the sun comes up, looking absolutely stunning, and although in this moment I'm happy to be alone, I know eventually I will feel lonely, but it's so easy to forget that other feel these things too.

Life isn't always sunshine and happiness, I'm so prone to getting stuck into misery and talking about misery and thinking about misery, when actually, things are pretty damn good at the moment. My kittens are delighting me currently by running and attacking everything. BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS EXCITING.

It is, there are so many things to look forward to, a holiday, a few exhibitions, more on those soon my lovelies, work is going well, and that is such a big bonus I can't describe. I have family, friends and everything else too. I'm blessed, I really am, and I want to say thank you again to every single one of you that joins me along this journey.

(Big things coming, stay with me?)

Things, THOUGHTSErin Veness