I am the combined effort of everyone I've ever known

Ms Veness, Self Portrait 2018, 35mm Film

I rarely read these days (there’s a lot of of things I rarely do now, but reading is the family friendly one*), I’m not talking solely about books either, blogs, twitter, the news, facebook, magazines; they’ve given way to pictures, and photographs. I sit there like a young child captivated by the light. A picture says a thousand words, or so they say, and those words are ricocheting around my head, so loud.

Sometimes I still feel the need to write, sometimes the words inside me are too loud and they come pouring out of me. I still have this desire to share these words too. Sentences derived and syphoned from novels, poetry, song lyrics. My claim to fame is that I know that there is nothing original about me, I am the sum of everyone I have ever met. And that, my loves, is a bastardised line from Chuck Palahnuik, I believe.

These people are cary with me are boisterous. A cacophony of voices and experiences and feelings that I can’t shake, that will not leave me, and so I must learn new ways to incorporate them and I.

I remember writing once that if you give a little bit of your soul to the people you meet that eventually they’ll be nothing left. I remember at university looking at the idea that everything you do leaves a mark on your body. I recycle, reuse the same ideas and the same words, but is that not to be expected when I feel the same feelings and do the same things? At times I feel static, but then everything changes; I revisit though, a comfort blanket that I’m not too old for yet.

I turn 30 later this year. I say later, but in truth it’s the beginning of February and that will come quick, like a car crash. I have plans that I won’t divulge and I have plans that I will. I will be starting a #Project365, to begin on my Birthday, the photos are on 35mm and it’s no secret I’ve already started taking them, to ensure that they are available for me to post. My project 365 is less about photographing everyday (which I am) but more about being accountable, by showing up and posting and thinking and feeling and being, me.