I aim to still be alive next week.
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i have no idea what i'm doing anymore

 

Happy New Year

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I don't believe in resolutions and I don't believe too heavily in the New Year feelings that seem to go around; I'll say Happy New Year because it's polite and I feel like I should and that is that.

I've been doing some thinking, my lovelies. I'm very honest, to a fault. I think online that becomes difficult for readers, my honesty demands a type of intimacy. The rawness can be un-nerving, especially if you've never felt like killing yourself (I've been informed that most people don't think about killing themselves). The thing is, I can't help but be honest and tell you all the 100000 thoughts that have travelled through my head in the last twenty minutes or so. I'm pretty sure a philosopher said something about the sharing of thoughts and acceptance in a social context but I can't remember who, what or when.

Back to this honesty thing though, it's almost confessional. I want to be absolved for my sins and indiscretions, please. Whenever I catch myself judging people I mentally scold myself and realise that actually, there is very little between me and them. In an effort to relate to others I try to see if I could occupy their space, and often I can. I may not understand but I can appreciate and I can empathise.

What I'm saying is - I try not to be a dickhead.

I value honesty too. I can remember times when I've (figuratively) beaten the truth out of friends to only end up painfully hurt. It was a genius who first said "Ignorance is bliss", a complete and utter genius. I now believe that if close friends aren't offering their view point on you and your behaviour, you probably don't want to know.

Right now I have very little to say that is of note. I could waffle on for a couple of hundred more words, but they may not make sense and that helps no-one. I just thought I should say Hi.

So Hi, how're you?

THOUGHTSErin Veness